1. GOD
IS THE AUTHOR OF MARRIAGE
The Truth about Marriage, God is the author of marriage and it is a divine Institution. It was established by God at the beginning of human history when He "created the heavens and the earth" (Gen 1:1). As the Creator of marriage, God has the right to tell us which principles should govern our marital relationships. God has revealed His will regarding the nature and function of marriage. As Christians who choose to live in accordance with God’s will, we must study and respect those Biblical principles governing marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
Gen. 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” The first human couple originated not from an evolutionary process, but through divine creation. God created them "male and female," was fashioned in the image of God. This involves moral, rational and spiritual faculties rather than gender likeness since God transcends male/female distinctions. It may also include the capacity of a man and a woman to experience the oneness of fellowship similar to the one existing in the Trinity. The man was created as a sexual being, consisting of a male and a female counterpart. This means that though men and women are sexually and functionally different, they enjoy equal dignity and importance before God.
2. GOD MADE WOMAN FOR MAN.
The woman was created for man! (Gen. 2: 18-22, 23). The apostle Paul later wrote, "Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man" (I Cor. 11: 9). "…Man is not of the woman," he further argues to illustrate man's headship, "but the woman of the man" (vs. 8). Man is in "the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man" (vs. 7). Since God made woman for man, she is ideally suited both emotionally, anatomically, and psychologically to meet the needs of man - all so-called women's movements to the contrary notwithstanding.
As
a Companion: "Then God said: ‘It is not good that the man should
be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" (Gen 2:20).
A
Suitable Helper: She is equal in nature and worth, reflecting the same
divine image (Gen 1:27). Yet she is different in function, serving as a supportive
helper
3. THE UNIQUENESS OF MARRIAGE.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother…," God says regarding the priority of marriage (Gen. 2: 24).
a) Leaving.
The first step in establishing a
marriage covenant is leaving all other relationships, including the
closest ones of father and mother: "Therefore a man leaves his
father and his mother" (Gen 2:24). Of course, leaving does not mean the
abandonment of one’s parents. The responsibility to "Honor your father and
mother" (Ex 20:12) is applied by Jesus to adults (Mark 7:6-13). We do not
evade our responsibility toward our parents as they grow old. Jesus scorned the
hypocrisy of those who gave to the Temple the money they had set aside for
their parents (Mark 7:9-13).
b)
Cleaving.
The
second essential component of a marriage covenant is cleaving:
"Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his
wife" (Gen 2:24). A leaving must occur before a cleaving can take place.
This process reveals divine wisdom. A man and a woman must leave all lesser
relationships for the purpose of cleaving, that is, cementing their new
relationship and establishing a new home. In the sight of God, cleaving means
wholehearted commitment which spills over to every area of our being. It means
to be permanently glued together rather than temporarily taped together.
c)
Becoming One Flesh.
The third essential
ingredient of a marriage covenant is that "they become one
flesh" (Gen 2:24). Note the progression: leaving, cleaving, becoming one
flesh. As husband and wife leave lesser relationships and learn to cleave to
one another, they become a new entity, "one flesh."
4. THE INTENTION OF MARRIAGE.
The ideal marriage is both physical and spiritual. "…To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and every woman have her own husband," the Bible says (I Cor. 7: 2). The conjugal aspects of marriage are clearly and unashamedly taught (I Cor. 7: 3-6, Heb. 13: 4). Marriage is also for the producing and education of children (Gen. 1: 28). Paul wrote of the woman, "notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety" (I Tim. 2: 15).
- Created for Relationships
Love and
relationships are a central theme in the Bible, beginning in Genesis and
culminating in Revelation. St. Augustine made the statement, “our hearts
are restless until we find our rest in Thee.” God designed us for a
relationship with Him. The whole of Scripture speaks of our relationship with Him:
how to have it, how to hold onto it, how to rest in it, how to communicate it,
how to enjoy it.
· Reflect
Christian marriages are to reflect God’s image: Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.… So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27). However, a married couple has a unique capacity to reflect His image as husband and wife. When we recognize our purpose is to reflect the image of God, we see that we have an opportunity to be a witness to a lost world.
· Reproduce
God blessed them and
said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue
it” (Genesis 1:28a). Marriage is an opportunity for men and women to produce
children. Children are a gift from God and with them comes great
responsibility: children are to be raised in His “likeness.”
· Reign
God blessed them and
said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and
subdue it” (Genesis 1:28a).According to this verse, married couples are to
“subdue” the earth. To accomplish this requires good stewardship in the
physical realm over that which God has given. It also requires diligence
in the spiritual realm. Together married couples are to be “soldiers”
directed by God to accomplish His intentions on earth.
· Marriage As a Witness to the World
“By this shall all
men know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another” (John
13:35). Marriage is a significant institution by which a lost world can
see Christianity in action. Marriage is the most intimate of human
relationships in which husbands and wives learn to model Christ’s love.
Marriage is the 18-year training ground for children so that they can also love
“one another.” Marriage provides a unique opportunity to reflect Him as a
couple. Marriage provides a platform for accomplishing God’s intentions
for mankind.
5. HEADSHIP IN MARRIAGE.
All relationships must have a structure in order to properly function, marriage is no exception. The truth stated in the Bible is the husband is the head, the wife is to be in subjection, and the children are to obey their parents in the Lord (Eph. 5: 22-6: 4).
6. MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE COVENANT NOT CONTRACT
A covenant is
intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful relationship between a man and a
woman. Marriage is a vow to God, to each other, our families and our community
to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation and sexual purity,
while purposefully growing in our covenant marriage relationship. In the
New Testament, the blessed relationship between Christ and the church is
described by the covenant relationship of the husband and the wife (Eph.
5:22-ff). Marriage is a holy union before God.
7. THE LONGEVITY OF MARRIAGE.
God ordained marriage is manifestly permanent (Gen. 1, 2). In alluding to and
reinstating the original marriage law, Jesus said: "…what therefore God
hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt. 19: 6). "For
the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he
liveth…," Paul wrote (Rom. 7: 2). The only exception or contingency to the
continuance of the marriage bond, other than death, is adultery.
Marriage is to be an exclusive relationship, a lifelong faithful union with one’s spouse. "What God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). The Old Testament recognized the existence of polygamy (marriage to multiple partners), but still declared that monogamy (marriage to one partner) was the ideal (Psalms 128:3, Proverbs 5:18; 31:10-29; Ecclesiastes 9:9). "Lifelong" means monogamy and sexual fidelity until the death of one partner. Sexual expression with more than one partner violates the holiness of biblical marriage and thus is sin in God's sight.
8. GOD HATES DIVORCE
On many doctrines,
God speaks His will as clear, and sometimes more clearly, in the Old Testament
than in the New Testament. We find this true on the doctrine of marriage and
divorce. God hates divorce. God says in Malachi 2:16 We see from this passage
in the Old Testament that divorce and remarriage is a serious matter. We see
that God hates divorce. Not only does He hate divorce, but when a Christian
divorces their spouse, it removes them from fellowship with God and He no
longer receives their worship. Because God expresses His feelings so strongly
about divorce, we need to be careful to correctly discern what God is saying on
the doctrine of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, lest we be guilty of
removing ourselves or others from fellowship with Him.
9. THING WHICH DESTROYS THE MARRIAGE
As a study of
biblical history shows, humanity's rebellion against the Creator's purposes led
to at least the following six negative consequences: (1) polygamy; (Genesis 4:19).
(2) Divorce; (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), (3) adultery; (Exodus 20:14;
Deuteronomy 5:18). (4) Homosexuality; (5) Sterility; and (6) Gender role
confusion.
A happy and complete marriage is realized as both partners make Christ the centre of their marriage relationship. With Christ as the head, the marriage has an excellent chance to succeed.
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